My sonshine.

I have a son! I remind myself of the fact almost daily. After almost 22 years of only girls on my family's side, we added Oliver Adam to our family, on January 4th, 2009. What an adventure we will have! And oh, how spoiled he will be as the only grandson on both sides!


This time, Adam and I were not planning to get pregnant until 2010. I had spent a lot of emotional energy trying to convince Adam to even consider a third child. By the time we agreed on 2010, we were already baking a baby in the oven.

I started feeling really nauseated all day for about three days. I was eating a hot dog and got grossed out by the grease. I could smell like a superhero. I waited for my period to come for four days until I decided it was time to take a test. This time, Adam was positive I was not pregnant. I was pretty sure, too. I mean, we weren't trying at all. It was not on the agenda. I took the test, and immediately my heart sank. We weren't ready! So many thoughts went through my head. One major issue was the pending deployment to Iraq in December. My due date ended up falling almost exactly one month after he would leave. It was so bittersweet.

It took Adam a long time to get used to the idea of having another baby. I had a lot of guilt through my pregnancy for being upset. I love my child, and I did from the moment I knew of him. It was a hard situation, and I wanted Adam to be around to see the baby grow up.
After a while I got used to it, and started to get excited. My love for him never changed, though.

Around 20 weeks of my pregnancy we went to find out the sex of the baby. I didn't need the ultrasound, I already knew! I completely expected it to be a girl. We had so much trouble picking a name for a girl, so I just really expected it to be. The technician waved the wand over the genital area, and lo and behold, there were some items I had never seen on an ultrasound before! A BOY! Wow! I cried. I was in shock. This was such a new and wonderful thing!

We shared the news with our family and I received the same response from everyone - WHAT!? No one could believe it, either. We were all so excited at the news!

When I was around three months pregnant, I lost a friend to suicide. It was very difficult to hear, and I remember being very very sad for a few months. It was something I had never had to deal with, and it was a reality I had to face. I hated exposing my baby to the stress, but it was inevitable. As the months went by, it got better, but I am still sad over it.

Adam left for Iraq in early December. It was one of the hardest weeks prior to him leaving. So much tension, stress, and unhappiness. We said goodbye, and I had to take the girls to the car and skip waving at him while he drove off in the bus. I couldn't bare it anymore.
I cried on the entire trip home. It was a long 30 minute ride.

About a month later, I woke up around 6 am to some contractions. They weren't bad at all, but I knew that it was time. I spent most of the morning and then early afternoon walking around, sitting, talking, pacing, and thinking. My mom, step dad, and aunt were there. Around 11 am we got antsy, and headed to the hospital. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart. We got halfway there and my Mom realized she forgot her ID. I ended up switching seats with her, and drove the rest of the way to the hospital. I remember the guard laughing at us saying "Shouldn't your mom be the one driving if you're in labor?"

We waited for what seemed like forever on the doctor to come tell us the verdict. I wasn't quite far enough along to admit, but they decided to do so anyway since I was three days over due, and having regular contractions. They set up a room for me and I got all hooked up to the monitors. This was all so bittersweet knowing my husband wasn't there for me. It was really difficult, but I remained strong. I was surprised how well I handled it without him. I missed him intensely, but it was a good day, anyway.

Oliver was born in January when the wind was cold and the ice covered the ground. His hair was almost black, and he had grey colored eyes. He looked a lot like his sister, Audrey.

Life was a little rough at first. I had lost a lot of blood in childbirth, and I was very irritable. It was very difficult handling all three of them at this point, and I was so thankful that my Mom was there for me.

In the first week of his life, I noticed his belly button was not healing properly. It looked very red and swollen, and I remembered the doctor telling me that that was a sign of infection. My gut immediately told me to take him to the Dr. I took him for his two week checkup, and they told me it looked red, but it wasn't too bad and I just needed to keep it dry with alcohol. I really felt like they were wrong. I just knew in my heart that there was something more going on and that I really needed to take him again or they needed to do tests. Sure enough, his belly button just got worse and worse. Finally, one afternoon I took him to the ER. The ER doctor took one look at it and said, in fact, it was infected. They gave me instructions to clean it with antibiotic ointment, but they seemed really confused about it and acted like they did not know fully what was wrong with it. I felt the energy of the doctors and nurses in the ER and knew they did not know exactly what they were looking at. As if I wasn't already uneasy, I was even more now. I took him home and really felt like it wasn't good enough.

Early the next morning I found a message on my answering machine from his pediatrician. She wanted to see him immediately. That afternoon I took him in to her, and as soon as she laid eyes on his belly, she said "We need to hospitalize him". My heart sank. I cried a little bit, and tried hard to suck it in. My newborn, this child I barely know, was on the brink of extreme infection, and I was powerless in that moment to help him. I waited in the waiting room while they poked and prodded him to get the IV's in. I felt sick to my stomach as I called my mothers to tell them.

We stayed a week in the hospital. Nurses and doctors came in and out every three hours every day checking his levels, and administering antibiotics. He was so sleepy and cranky during all this. It was very hard to breastfeed him because of all the wires and tubes. I felt so disconnected, and sad.

The doctor came in and told me that she and every other pediatrician in the hospital had a meeting and decided that Oliver had Omphalitis, an infection of the umbilical cord stump. They finally figured out a good regiment of antibiotics, and he was given them for two days before they finally let us go home.

Since then, he's healed wonderfully and shown no signs of the infection. I am so thankful to those doctors and nurses who spent so much time and effort to figure out what was wrong with him. They said in all their years of being Doctors, they've never seen a case of Omphalitis, nor in the entire hospital since it's opening. WOW!

Oliver has been growing fiercely. I am continuously amazed at the differences between boys and girls. Oliver eats SO much. Every two hours he is starving. He doesn't coo and talk as much as the girls did at his age. I am so blessed to have two girls, and a boy.

My son is my little sunshine, and so I call him my sonshine. I look so forward to learning of him, and all about little boys. I feel like my family is complete now, and we can venture into the world as The Blackwoods.

Soon he will be crawling, babbling, eating solids, and getting into everything. One of my favorite milestones is solid food, so I am really excited when that finally comes! I will be entering the world of superheros, trucks, cars, trains, sports, and dirt. Such a change from pink and lace.

Oliver is a joy, such a sweet kissable boy. I can't wait to see what his personality will grow into as he ages. My sonshine is my pride and joy, and I love him so much.