Preschool

Jessica's first day of preschool was on the 12th of August. She started half-days and is enjoying every bit of it. On Monday the 24th, she goes to all day class from around 8 am to 3pm.
She was tested on her "learning skills" and the teacher told me she did excellent. Only missed one question, which was her address. We haven't even talked about her address, actually, so this is not surprising. Jessie's teacher repeats to me every time I see her that Audrey is ready for school as well, but with her not being potty trained, I disagree. She is on the same level mentally as Jessie, but emotionally I do not think she is ready. Four is a good age for her I think. I can't believe Jessica will be 5 in only 4 months. It's amazing how fast they grow!

Here is Oliver saying "EAT". I am just beyond words with this little boy. He couldn't be more different from his sisters, in so many ways.



As the days go by, I notice new things with the kids that really amaze me.
Jessie has learned to roll her eyes, and has been testing it out with me. Time out has been effective, but I can't help but get frustrated when she does it. I should find the humor in it, but my patience has run a bit dry lately.

Audrey is doing very well with potty training. The only downside so far is I have to remind her or take her. She does not willingly go, unless it's time for bed and she is stalling. We've been using skittles and m&ms as incentive, and it works. Stickers weren't good enough. =)

I am SO happy to have only changed ONE, count it, ONE poopy diaper in the past five days! WOOHOO! This is the milestone I have been looking for. Let's keep this going, Audrey!

Bittersweet Milestones

I thought this week was a week of firsts, and man was I right! Oliver decided to shake his head no to me, and try to crawl in two days. He just doesn't seem old enough to me to be doing this!
In some ways I want him to stop growing, and in others I want this year to go fast so Adam can come home. It's bittersweet. And this being our last child (done having kids!) makes it bittersweet as well. I can't believe how time can fly.

A Week of Firsts

While we were in Arkansas, Jessica told me she wanted me to get married to Daddy again. I asked her what she meant by it, and she said "I just want daddy to live in our house again and I want you to get married again."
I think she may have felt that since Daddy left, we were no longer married. I did not know what to say to her, other than to reassure her that her Daddy and I were still married, and he just had to stay at work for a long long time. I felt torn up inside because I don't truly think I know how much she is hurting for her daddy.



In better news, this has been a week of firsts.
Over the past 4 days, Oliver has been slowly trying Brown Rice Cereal, and has decided he loves it. At first he wasn't interested. I slowly tried it once a day until one day I made it a bit thicker (I had been watering it down quite a bit) and he just went crazy with excitement. I wasn't too keen on the whole solid food idea at first, but when I saw the Organic Rice Cereal, I decided to give it a whirl. This afternoon I tried my hand at putting his high chair together, and oh my! The things I forget to be thankful for! One being, Adam's volunteering to put together baby equipment. I would be happy if I never had to assemble anything ever again. Whoever wrote the instructions for this high chair should be whacked with french bread. (Eddie Izzard reference)
I can't believe my baby boy is getting so big.

Also, since being home we've added a few new chores to the list. One being the girls are loading and unloading the dishwasher. They are eager to help, and I am very much all for them learning how to be self-sufficient. Jessie thrives on chores, which astounds me. I hate them.

Jessica took her first shower "by herself". She washed herself and scrubbed her hair, but I helped make sure she got everything clean enough. She did pretty well, though, for her first time. She isn't quite old enough to do it often, but every now and then I don't mind letting her. It makes her feel great to do things on her own.

Audrey's potty training is non-existent, really. Which completely irritates me. She has no interest in it. By this age, Jessie refused to wear diapers, and didn't need any coaxing onto the potty. Audrey on the other hand, couldn't care less about it. I am trying my best to just let her do it on her own time. I suggest it to her hourly, but in the end I usually end up changing a large diaper. Let me tell you, three year old poops are not for the faint of heart.

Let's Dance.

Of the many things I enjoy in life, one is the 1940's Era.
The music, the dancing, the style, the language.
It's a magical time in Hollywood, and I wish so much we still wore those elegant dresses, and cared so much about manners and tact.
If there's one thing I want my kids to appreciate, it would be that.

This afternoon I turned on the tv to a movie, starring Fred Astaire. Of course, I was hooked.

I didn't expect the girls to care about an old fashioned black and white, but they were also immediately entranced. They both began asking me about the movie.

Why is it black and white? What are they doing? Who is that lady? I like her lipstick! She makes me want to dance, too!

My heart filled with joy and contentment as the girls donned their tutu's and danced along with Fred and his Leading Lady.

These are the memories I hope I keep forever.

My sonshine.

I have a son! I remind myself of the fact almost daily. After almost 22 years of only girls on my family's side, we added Oliver Adam to our family, on January 4th, 2009. What an adventure we will have! And oh, how spoiled he will be as the only grandson on both sides!


This time, Adam and I were not planning to get pregnant until 2010. I had spent a lot of emotional energy trying to convince Adam to even consider a third child. By the time we agreed on 2010, we were already baking a baby in the oven.

I started feeling really nauseated all day for about three days. I was eating a hot dog and got grossed out by the grease. I could smell like a superhero. I waited for my period to come for four days until I decided it was time to take a test. This time, Adam was positive I was not pregnant. I was pretty sure, too. I mean, we weren't trying at all. It was not on the agenda. I took the test, and immediately my heart sank. We weren't ready! So many thoughts went through my head. One major issue was the pending deployment to Iraq in December. My due date ended up falling almost exactly one month after he would leave. It was so bittersweet.

It took Adam a long time to get used to the idea of having another baby. I had a lot of guilt through my pregnancy for being upset. I love my child, and I did from the moment I knew of him. It was a hard situation, and I wanted Adam to be around to see the baby grow up.
After a while I got used to it, and started to get excited. My love for him never changed, though.

Around 20 weeks of my pregnancy we went to find out the sex of the baby. I didn't need the ultrasound, I already knew! I completely expected it to be a girl. We had so much trouble picking a name for a girl, so I just really expected it to be. The technician waved the wand over the genital area, and lo and behold, there were some items I had never seen on an ultrasound before! A BOY! Wow! I cried. I was in shock. This was such a new and wonderful thing!

We shared the news with our family and I received the same response from everyone - WHAT!? No one could believe it, either. We were all so excited at the news!

When I was around three months pregnant, I lost a friend to suicide. It was very difficult to hear, and I remember being very very sad for a few months. It was something I had never had to deal with, and it was a reality I had to face. I hated exposing my baby to the stress, but it was inevitable. As the months went by, it got better, but I am still sad over it.

Adam left for Iraq in early December. It was one of the hardest weeks prior to him leaving. So much tension, stress, and unhappiness. We said goodbye, and I had to take the girls to the car and skip waving at him while he drove off in the bus. I couldn't bare it anymore.
I cried on the entire trip home. It was a long 30 minute ride.

About a month later, I woke up around 6 am to some contractions. They weren't bad at all, but I knew that it was time. I spent most of the morning and then early afternoon walking around, sitting, talking, pacing, and thinking. My mom, step dad, and aunt were there. Around 11 am we got antsy, and headed to the hospital. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart. We got halfway there and my Mom realized she forgot her ID. I ended up switching seats with her, and drove the rest of the way to the hospital. I remember the guard laughing at us saying "Shouldn't your mom be the one driving if you're in labor?"

We waited for what seemed like forever on the doctor to come tell us the verdict. I wasn't quite far enough along to admit, but they decided to do so anyway since I was three days over due, and having regular contractions. They set up a room for me and I got all hooked up to the monitors. This was all so bittersweet knowing my husband wasn't there for me. It was really difficult, but I remained strong. I was surprised how well I handled it without him. I missed him intensely, but it was a good day, anyway.

Oliver was born in January when the wind was cold and the ice covered the ground. His hair was almost black, and he had grey colored eyes. He looked a lot like his sister, Audrey.

Life was a little rough at first. I had lost a lot of blood in childbirth, and I was very irritable. It was very difficult handling all three of them at this point, and I was so thankful that my Mom was there for me.

In the first week of his life, I noticed his belly button was not healing properly. It looked very red and swollen, and I remembered the doctor telling me that that was a sign of infection. My gut immediately told me to take him to the Dr. I took him for his two week checkup, and they told me it looked red, but it wasn't too bad and I just needed to keep it dry with alcohol. I really felt like they were wrong. I just knew in my heart that there was something more going on and that I really needed to take him again or they needed to do tests. Sure enough, his belly button just got worse and worse. Finally, one afternoon I took him to the ER. The ER doctor took one look at it and said, in fact, it was infected. They gave me instructions to clean it with antibiotic ointment, but they seemed really confused about it and acted like they did not know fully what was wrong with it. I felt the energy of the doctors and nurses in the ER and knew they did not know exactly what they were looking at. As if I wasn't already uneasy, I was even more now. I took him home and really felt like it wasn't good enough.

Early the next morning I found a message on my answering machine from his pediatrician. She wanted to see him immediately. That afternoon I took him in to her, and as soon as she laid eyes on his belly, she said "We need to hospitalize him". My heart sank. I cried a little bit, and tried hard to suck it in. My newborn, this child I barely know, was on the brink of extreme infection, and I was powerless in that moment to help him. I waited in the waiting room while they poked and prodded him to get the IV's in. I felt sick to my stomach as I called my mothers to tell them.

We stayed a week in the hospital. Nurses and doctors came in and out every three hours every day checking his levels, and administering antibiotics. He was so sleepy and cranky during all this. It was very hard to breastfeed him because of all the wires and tubes. I felt so disconnected, and sad.

The doctor came in and told me that she and every other pediatrician in the hospital had a meeting and decided that Oliver had Omphalitis, an infection of the umbilical cord stump. They finally figured out a good regiment of antibiotics, and he was given them for two days before they finally let us go home.

Since then, he's healed wonderfully and shown no signs of the infection. I am so thankful to those doctors and nurses who spent so much time and effort to figure out what was wrong with him. They said in all their years of being Doctors, they've never seen a case of Omphalitis, nor in the entire hospital since it's opening. WOW!

Oliver has been growing fiercely. I am continuously amazed at the differences between boys and girls. Oliver eats SO much. Every two hours he is starving. He doesn't coo and talk as much as the girls did at his age. I am so blessed to have two girls, and a boy.

My son is my little sunshine, and so I call him my sonshine. I look so forward to learning of him, and all about little boys. I feel like my family is complete now, and we can venture into the world as The Blackwoods.

Soon he will be crawling, babbling, eating solids, and getting into everything. One of my favorite milestones is solid food, so I am really excited when that finally comes! I will be entering the world of superheros, trucks, cars, trains, sports, and dirt. Such a change from pink and lace.

Oliver is a joy, such a sweet kissable boy. I can't wait to see what his personality will grow into as he ages. My sonshine is my pride and joy, and I love him so much.

My ladybug.

There is a sunbeam living in my home. A little ray of light that lives with me and brightens everything she touches. A little beam of light that makes you feel warm and loved. Her name is Audrey Kay.

There are many words to describe her. Enthusiastic, charasmatic, funny, enlightened, happy-go-lucky, fun, sensitive, caring, affectionate, loving, and precious. She has a tender heart, and it bruises easily. She is one of the most loving people I have ever known, and showers anyone around her with hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation. I love how I can be doing something in the kitchen, or just watching tv, and she will come to me, place my face in her hands, and tell me she loves me. I will never tire of that.

Jessica was our little firecracker when we moved to Fort Benning Ga. Getting into anything and everything, loving The Wiggles, playing with toys, and just being a sweet 10 month old. After we settled into life in Georgia, Adam and I agreed we felt it was time to start trying for another baby. We knew from friends, that it can take time to get pregnant when you are trying. So we started off with the mindset that it could take months to years. I became a member of Fertilityfriend.com, and charted out my fertility. The first month we tried, we were pregnant.

About four weeks after trying, I was a few days late for my period. I had been irregular from breastfeeding Jessie, and it wasn't uncommon for this, but since we were trying to get pregnant I went to buy a test. Since having Jessica, I had taken a few tests. This time I noticed the shaking was back. The same shaking I had experienced with my very first pregnancy test. I went to the store with Jessie in tow to purchase it.

I thought about waiting around for Adam to come home from work, but I have never been very good at waiting. I took the test while Jessie was napping. The moment I took it, once again, it said Positive. I was overjoyed! This time, I knew what to expect, and it was such a wonderful feeling. Adam came home from work about 10 minutes after taking the test, and I handed it to him and he read it and we embraced. We were both thrilled to be going down this road again, and felt so blessed to have gotten pregnant so fast.

I craved fruit punch and tuna fish with Jessie, and this time it was totally different. Audrey is made of vanilla soy milk and fresh strawberries. Seriously, check her DNA, and you will find strands of soy milk and strawberries. I consumed that much.

While Jessica picked a spot to lay in for most of my third trimester, Audrey wiggled more. I remember telling Adam she was going to come out breakdancing. I didn't gain any weight this time, only pregnancy weight that came right off with having her. I had no morning sickness, and no problems. I had an amazing pregnancy with her.

One night in August, I woke up around 2 am with a nightmare. I sat straight up in my bed, heart racing, and realized it was a contraction. I layed back down, and tried to fall back asleep. Then another, and another, until I finally got out of bed to try to walk around. I thought perhaps it was just braxton hicks, so I got in the tub to try to relax. They continued in the tub. That's when I decided to time them. 10 minutes apart, almost on the dot. I waited through about two hours of them before waking Adam up to tell him to get ready. We woke my Mom up, as she was visiting us for the birth, and told her it was time. I remember being so excited, and so starving during all of this. I ate a few bites, and drank a clear gatorade. The ride to the hospital was tough. It was only a 3 minute drive, but I happened to have a contraction right in the middle of it, and it felt horrible.

I was checked, and was 4 centimeters, so they admitted me. I was determined to do better this time with the pain management, and was going to try to get through the entire labor with no epidural. I made it to 7 centemeters and begged for the epidural. I was writhing in pain and screaming. I thought I was making a huge scene with my screaming, but Adam and my Mom assured me I wasn't that loud. I remember writhing back and forth, shaking, and screaming, and just feeling like my tailbone was breaking. I told my nurse that I felt like my pelvic and tail bone were ripping apart, and he said "That's not normal". There was really nothing he could do at this point, other than the epidural. They had the epidural working for about an hour, but it was only on one side of me, so when they came to fix it I was already 10 centimeters and ready to push. I remember being in so much pain and just feeling like I was going insane. Out came my little chubby 8 lb light haired baby girl, Audrey. She was so beautiful. I felt almost completely back to normal only minutes after having her.

Her first year was spent happily. In fact, that is one of the best years of our marriage. We learned a lot through many marriage retreats, and made new friends we still consider to be wonderful life-long friends that year. She was such a happy baby. One of my fondest memories of her is when we would "toot" her. We would grab her legs and push them toward her tummy and it would help move her gas. It was too funny! Another good memory is how much she loved her bouncer. She bounced in that thing until she would fall asleep almost every day. It was a sure-fire way to put her to sleep. She rarely fussed, and never met a stranger.

One of the only downsides to Audrey's first year of life was my post partum depression. It hit me hard, and I suffered for about a year. I have since recovered, but it's something I share with people so they know that it is common, and in hopes that people will get help when they need it. I am happy to say that I am fully recovered.

Our family got orders to move to Fort Sill, Oklahoma after the beginning of her second year of life. We packed our belongings and headed to the windy state. Only weeks after arriving, Audrey, myself, and my sister caught the chicken pox. The three of us were holed in our house, miserable, for two whole weeks. Jessie escaped with only four, and Adam had already had them as a child.

One afternoon, while still sick with chicken pox, Audrey and Jessie were sitting at the lunch table eating. Audrey was about 16 months at the time, and liked to put her legs on the bars of the table and push back. This was dangerous, and I did not notice she was doing it until all of the sudden I heard CRASH, and then a blood curddling scream. I look over from making myself a sandwich, and see blood everywhere. She had pushed her chair backwards and cracked her skin open on the back of her head. There was so much blood I couldn't tell how bad the injury was, all I knew was she needed to go to the ER immediately. I called Adam, seeing as how we had only one car, and told him he needed to come home ASAP. I held her in my arms, nursed her, put ice on the wound, and tried to keep her conscious, just in case. We headed to the ER, and on the way, noticed it was still oozing blood. We knew she would need stitches.

When we arrived, we waited for a bit before they realized they needed to put her in quarantine since she was contageous with chicken pox. The doctor ended up putting several stitches in her head, and had to cut her beautiful hair to do so. It was a pretty nasty wound. Thankfully, she had no concussion, and her scar is now barely even noticable. We were so thankful it was easy to care for. It was one of the hardest things Adam and I had ever been through as parents.

Since that day, Audrey continued her happy-go-lucky attitude towards life. She is a free spirit, and nothing holds her back. I have never known anyone as affectionate and loving as her. She has such a big heart, and such a sweet disposition, you can't help but fall in love with her.

She and her big sister, Jessie, are inseperable. One thing I really wanted when getting pregnant with Audrey, was for them to be close. They play like twins, liking the same things, and always enjoying each others company. On the occasions they fight, it is easily resolved, and within minutes they are back to being their happy selves.

Since the birth of her baby brother, Oliver, Audrey has doted on him every moment she is allowed. She loves him immensely and I sometimes have trouble seperating her grasp from him. She is deeply offended when I tell her not to hug on him too tightly, or kiss him so much. There has been many a time when she bursts into tears when I tell her to be careful, or not to touch him because she is sick.

In the past few months she has begun creating ellaborate stories. They are so intricate, detailed, and exciting. Everything is exaggerated, and over the top. She has a superb ability to make Jessie laugh. She dreams of ladybugs, and mermaids, and fish named spongebob, and fairies in our front yard. I love to listen to her make them up. Her imagination is endless.

I think she is too young still, to grasp the entirety of her Daddy being gone. However, on occasion she has shown me how much she misses him when she sees other daddies, or when she hears Hannah Montana's Dad in songs. She will say "I miss my Daddy" in the saddest tone you've ever heard, and it breaks my heart a thousand times. As with Jessie, when she tells me the same. It's never easy to hear that my girls are hurting.

She feels deeply. Expresses her emotions with ellaborate details. She is always fun to be around, and everything is a game to her. She will light up any situation, and make any dreery day sunny. She is my wonderful second-born.